When I undertook the role of Jokemaster at a recent Toastmasters’ meeting I hadn’t realized it was going to be such a difficult job. Especially when the theme is Jargon – I thought I might be downsized by the chair, let go, uninstalled, derecruited, and invited to seek other opportunities outside my role. I realized I had to think big and outside the box. I had to push the envelope, raise the bar, take things to the next level, and indulge in some blue sky thinking. Telling a joke is a two-way street and I had to do it without going postal. It was tempting to pick the low hanging fruit which may or may not be cherries. I needed a gilt-edged, copper-bottomed, member-facing joke that I could run up the flagpole and everyone would salute it. I’d really want 360-degree feedback too. Anyway, I should park my thinking offline. This is a finely balanced situation, weighted heavily towards the members. So, I should touch base with you and keep you in the loop because we need to be on the same page and singing from the same hymn sheet – it’s important there are no disconnects so that we are sending and receiving mixed messages.

Here are some new words for your vocabulary:

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Ego Surfing: Scanning the Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one’s own name.

Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a big mistake at your computer.

Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids – stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Beepilepsy: The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-sentence.